Late Night Wraps Up This Year’s Academy Awards

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On Monday, late-night hosts weighed in on Sunday night’s Oscars ceremonies, which, despite some historic firsts and funny moments, brought in a much smaller audience than last year’s awards.

“The ratings for the Oscars plummeted from 23 million last year to less than 10 million this year. How can something so woke put so many people to sleep?” Jimmy Kimmel asked.

“The ceremony was watched by a record-low 9.9 million people. Yeah, 9.9 million. That’s like taking everyone who watched ‘Mank’ and adding 9.8 million.” — JIMMY FALLON

“I guess most people thought the show was a little sluggish and, at times, a bit uncomfortable. It was as if the whole ceremony had just gotten its second Pfizer shot.” — JIMMY FALLON

“This was the Oscars that finally answered the question, ‘What happens when you don’t cut off acceptance speeches?’ Turns out, they go on for a very long time.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“For whatever reason, the awards were held at Union Station downtown, which is the closest many of these stars have ever been to public transportation.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Well, I guess the train station made sense ’cause I fell asleep 30 minutes in. When I woke up, I had no idea where I was.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Now, despite the pandemic shaking everything up, the Oscars pulled off a lot of cool moments last night. I mean, we got to see an awards show in a train station, right? We saw Regina King get her steps in. And we even got to see Glenn Close audition to be in Cardi B’s next video.” — TREVOR NOAH

“But we also got a lot of history made last night. Chloé Zhao became the first woman of color to win Best Director, Yuh-Jung Youn was the first Korean actor to win an award, and Daniel Kaluuya, my friend, became the first person to get an Oscar and a beatdown from his mama on the same night.” — TREVOR NOAH

“You can’t be saying ‘sex’ in front of African parents. In fact, I’m sure the only reason she didn’t whip Daniel’s [expletive] right there was just because there were too many white people in attendance.” — TREVOR NOAH

“His mom was like, ‘This is so embarrassing’ and he was like, ‘Relax, no one saw it.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“It was an historic evening. You know, before last night, an Oscar had never been given to a still photo of Anthony Hopkins before.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“There were some surprises, notably in the category of Best Actor. Everyone thought that would go to the late Chadwick Boseman. They even saved that category for the end of the show, assuming it would be a big emotional moment to wrap it up. But instead of Chadwick Boseman, Anthony Hopkins won Best Actor for playing a man with dementia in ‘The Father,’ and he was so committed to his role, he forgot to show up for the Oscars.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“And this is true. He was reportedly asleep when he won, which is not a great sign for network television when they say, ‘Hey, Anthony, you know you might win tonight’ and he’s like, ‘Eh, I’ll just watch it on YouTube tomorrow.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Punchiest Punchlines (Missed Shots Edition)

“Apparently, some people are refusing the second shot because they feared the side effects, which can include flulike symptoms. Unlike the coronavirus side effects, which can include deathlike death.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“One interesting group of people refusing to get the vaccine: people who have gotten the vaccine. Because millions of people are skipping their second doses of Covid vaccines. I can’t believe it — Americans are saying no to seconds?” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“I mean, just a few weeks ago we were scrambling for appointments — refresh, refresh, refresh. Now you can pick up Moderna shots in the two-for-one bin at Walmart.” — TREVOR NOAH

The Bits Worth Watching

Justin Bieber joined Jimmy Fallon and the Roots for a stripped-down version of his new single “Peaches.”

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

The “Pose” star Billy Porter will appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Tuesday.

Also, Check This Out

Anthony Hopkins had to accept his Best Actor Oscar via social media because producers denied him an opportunity to go live via Zoom during the ceremony on Sunday night.

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