From self-pleasure to 'risky' romps — confessions of the lockdown sex addicts
SEX addiction has soared during the pandemic – with sufferers risking Covid to get their fix.
More people have turned to the UK Addiction Treatment Group (UKAT) for help in the last four months, than in the whole of 2020.
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Nuno Albuquerque, head of treatment at UKAT, told The Sun: “The past 12 months have been difficult, and one thing that has suffered is interpersonal relationships.
“For some, sex can take over their waking life. It is important to recognise if something has changed for you, and to ask for help.”
Today, sex addiction is recognised as a mental health disorder whereby the sufferer obsessively engages in sexual activity, be it porn, self-pleasure, sleeping with strangers or demanding endless sex in a relationship.
Celebs including Lily Allen and Colin Farrell have revealed they had an addiction to sex, but what about ordinary people?
Georgette Culley speaks to five brave sex addicts about how the pandemic has affected them.
- * Some names have been changed
Had sex eight times a day
BISEXUAL Sophie Blackmore, a blogger from Welwyn Garden City, Herts, believes men feel “emasculated” by her high sex drive.
She says: "I lost my virginity at a young age and have rarely gone without sex since.
"I’ve had three serious relationships and each one has been affected by my addiction. At one point I was having sex eight times a day.
"You would think men would love a woman with a really high sex drive but a lot tend not to. They feel emasculated if they can’t keep up.
"And if my sexual partners can’t keep up with my insatiable sexual appetite then I’ll dump them. I get bored easily.
"The longest I’ve ever gone without sex was the first lockdown, I took the rules seriously.
"But when we were put back into lockdown in November I couldn’t cope and broke the rules twice – meeting a friend for sex as well as a stranger off an app.
"Afterwards, I felt dirty and ashamed. My sex addiction can take over my mind.
"It’s important to speak to a GP before you diagnose yourself."
Slept with more than 120 men
TRAINEE counsellor Lexi Sanders, from Plymouth, Devon, has slept with more than 120 men.
She admits to meeting them in “risky” outdoor places during lockdown to get her fix.
She says: "Despite being in recovery for 15 months when the second lockdown started I signed up to Tinder. I knew it was wrong.
"Within two weeks I was breaking the rules for random encounters as I tried to feed my need for a sexual high.
"Lockdown rules meant meeting in risky places outside like parks, woodlands or even at beaches.
"In the moment I’d love the rush and euphoric feeling you get when you orgasm but afterwards I’d suffer from self loathing.
"Looking back, my addiction began when I was working in Ibiza, where having sex with strangers four or five times a day was normal for me.
"I convinced myself I was empowered, but I was anything but.
"I contracted chlamydia twice and realised there were many times my behaviour could have caused me serious harm.
"Now I am back in therapy and taking it one day at a time."
Bedded 120+ women
IT ASSISTANT Joseph Trembath-Hutchins, from Newquay, Cornwall, saw his addiction spiral when his relationship fell apart in lockdown.
He says: "I lost my virginity at 13 and by the age of 21 I’d slept with over 120 women. But my life was a mess.
"If I didn’t have sex I’d get twitchy and nervous. I’d pace around the house thinking about it.
"In January 2019 I met my last partner Jenny*, a 21-year-old student, on Tinder.
"She told me she understood about my addiction and encouraged me to talk about it. It helped.
"But in lockdown our relationship began to crumble and we split in September. Without her, my addiction exploded and face-to-face therapy was not available.
"For three months I was hooking up with girls I’d meet online at least five or six times a week and my porn habit went through the roof.
"Finding a new job became irrelevant and I made excuses not to see friends and family. My only thought was a hook-up.
"In March I met Sarah, 20, a waitress, online. She refused to meet for a hook-up, and it made me want to get help.
"I’m now back in therapy and have my sex addiction under control. We’re dating now and I couldn’t be happier.
"We have great sex but I don’t bombard her."
Porn three times a day
MUM of two Tracy Kiss, who’s single and a personal trainer, pleasures herself up to eight times a day.
She says: "I've always been hypersexual. I know some people have a high sex drive but I need it all the time.
"If I couldn’t have sex, I’d masturbate, sometimes up to eight times a day.
"None of my partners ever knew. I kept it a secret from them and would sneak off and do it in the bathroom or when they were out.
"People think sex addicts sleep with anything with a pulse. But that’s not true, I’m picky.
"For me it’s the high of an orgasm that I’m addicted to and I only sleep with partners when I’m in a committed relationship.
"My porn habit has increased in the pandemic, I can watch it up to three times a day.
"I know it’s damaging but it’s hard to resist when you’re working from home and lockdown is stopping you from meeting friends and family.
"Nobody talks about the impact lockdown has on sex addicts. We are the hidden victims.
"People have said to me, “Just don’t have sex or touch yourself”, so they don’t take sex addiction seriously.
"Now I am having regular therapy and am writing a book about my sex addiction to raise awareness and help other women."
My 'human sex toy' lover left
ADMIN assistant Lyn Smith, from Norwich, broke up with her partner in lockdown because he could not keep up with her “insatiable appetite”.
She says: "When I was 18 my three-year relationship came to an end because he couldn’t keep up with me in the bedroom. Sometimes I’d want sex eight times a day.
"I went to my GP for help, explaining I was unable to focus at work because I was obsessed with self-pleasuring and sex.
"As the words left my mouth I burst into tears.
"Fortunately, I had an understanding female GP who gently told me she thought I was a sex addict and explained what it meant. She suggested therapy sessions and antidepressants.
"In 2018, I met my second long-term partner Phil* 29, a bricklayer. He didn’t judge me and, with the therapy I was getting, my addiction was under control.
"Then the pandemic hit and all our friends were talking about how much sex they were having.
"It triggered me and soon my demands in the bedroom got too much for my partner.
"He felt like a human sex toy and left me.
"I started meeting different men for sex. In November, I hit rock bottom and called my therapist.
"Now I’m working through an addictive recovery programme."
- Have you been affected? For info, 24/7 live chat or free callback service go to ukat.co.uk/sex-love-addiction
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