From sexting etiquette to how good sex lasts longer than three minutes, why it's time to rethink and teach the joy of sex education
But now Labour MP Jess Phillips wants to revamp it, making it a priority to tell girls that they should EXPECT to have an orgasm. About time, argues one empowered Sun writer.
'YOU SLUT! We’ve seen your messages to Wayne!” shouted Ben, as he stood on a stool and began to read my sexts to the whole science class.
I was 14 years old at the time and had stupidly left my mobile phone in the PE changing rooms.It wasn’t long before it got into the wrong hands and my “saucy” messages to my school crush were being read out loud.
Of course, like most teenagers, I had no idea about sex. My messages were just rehashed sex stories I had sneakily read in More magazine. At that age, everyone was desperate to appear grown-up, and getting past “first base” was more important than passing my GCSEs.
I burst into tears and ran out of the class, and I didn’t return for days. I told my mum I had a sore throat, until the embarrassment had died down.
Fortunately, mobile phones were pretty basic in the early Nineties so there were no photos.
But if the technology had been more advanced there is no doubt in my mind that I would have sent snaps that would have come back to haunt me.
Of course, all of this could have been easily avoided had I actually been given proper sex education classes with genuine advice to help girls navigate the world of sex. And tell them that — shock, horror — women can actually enjoy it.
A recent survey revealed 95 per cent of heterosexual men “usually or always orgasm” through sexual activity, compared to just 65 per cent of heterosexual women.
With this in mind, it is more important than ever to help girls understand what makes them tick AND teach boys how to be patient and respectful.
Instead, my “lessons” involved putting a condom on a banana and being told we would get pregnant if we indulged in any adult activity.
“Sex leads to a crying baby!” boomed our teacher. “Teen pregnancy is rife and, even if a condom is used, there’s no guarantee it won’t split. And if you don’t get pregnant, you’ll get an STD.
It’s a dangerous game and one that could change your life for ever. My advice is to wait for as long as possible.”
With that, the banana was tossed in the bin and the topic was swiftly changed.
I “did the deed” while still of school age and was so worried about getting pregnant, I made my love double-bag it. The “sex” lasted approximately three seconds and it was more disappointing than finding out Santa Claus wasn’t real. I just remember thinking: Is that it?
The overwhelming disappointment haunted me for years. But I had no one who really knew to ask if that was normal or not.
It wasn’t until I was 19 and started dating an older guy that I got to know what I liked in bed. I began to explore my body and had my first orgasm. Looking back, I was clueless and, instead of looking at sex as something pleasurable and fun, I feared it.
That’s why I welcome Jess Phillips’ campaign to revamp sex education and make it compulsory in all secondary schools by 2020, not just local authority-run schools.
She wants youngsters to learn about revenge porn, LGBT+ issues, consent, pornography . . . and orgasms. In an era of revenge porn and ever- growing technology, youngsters need to learn, early on, the dangers of sending explicit messages.
The teaching should highlight the dangers of sex but also encourage youngsters to understand that sex with a special person is enjoyable.
What a generation of liberal, confident young women we could raise.
Decent sex education is desperately needed, so girls don’t have to come second in bed.
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