Advice About Getting Rejected, From 6 Mentors That Have Seen It All

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s this: Rejection can be a tough pill to swallow. That goes for any area of life, including your career, education, and friendships. But when it comes to dating, rejection is particularly painful. After putting yourself on the line, getting turned down can be a major disappointment, not to mention detrimental to your self-confidence. Luckily, a mentor can often offer up some immensely helpful advice about getting rejected. What’s a mentor for, after all, if not to put things in perspective when you’re feeling defeated?

That’s not to say you won’t occasionally find it difficult to bounce back. It takes a lot of energy to get up the guts to invite that cutie at the office out for drinks or to casually ask that bartender for their digits. And when they don’t respond favorably, it can be quite the blow to your ego. You might wonder: What’s wrong with me? Why aren’t they interested? Is it because I’m not pretty/smart/funny/fit/cool enough?

But a wise friend once told me: Rejection is a gift. It’s an opportunity for learning about yourself, for growth, and for re-evaluating your priorities and your goals. More importantly, she told me that rejection isn’t necessarily an indication that you’re not right for that person, but rather a sign that they’re not right for you.

So before you start beating yourself up after getting turned down, consider these wise tidbits of advice from mentors about how to deal with rejection.

"Seek out rejections."


"Rejection gives you a thicker skin."

—Jordan, 29

"Keep shooting."


"The more rejection you get, the closer you will be to success."

— odyhighrolex

"This is only a very small thing."


"Every time someone rejects you, they’re only rerouting you."

—Melissa, 30

No one ever said rejection was easy to take, but consider this: So many of the things in life that benefit us are the ones that challenge us most. Too often, we allow the behavior and words of others to dictate how we feel about ourselves. However, rejection isn’t a reflection on who you are — it’s a reflection on the other person. Once you begin to see rejection as a gift, you’ll be able to recover from it much more quickly. In the meantime, turn to your trusty mentor (or those cited above) for some much-needed wisdom.

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