How Do You Keep The Honeymoon Phase Alive? 6 People In Relationships Reveal How They Kept It Going

Beginnings of relationships often have a vacation-like mentality. You plan your best outfits, pick out good restaurants, mindfully select the things you want to do together. All the while, gleefully leaving mundane realities (like overnight retainers and gas bills) at the airport. This blissful time, deemed the "honeymoon phase," marks the start of a new love, and can mean hot dates, bomb sex, and all the fun new flirty feels. There’s a lot to be said for how to keep the “Honeymoon Phase” alive and how to continue to love (and love on) your boo, far past the early months. A new partner can feel like an escape from outside pressures, a sidekick next to you who will help you to conquer the world.

But after a few years, the excitement can risk fading, as stress begins to creep in. In which case, it’s important to check in about each other’s needs, whether that means planning an impromptu staycation, or finally get around to that favor you’ve been asked to do for months. Feeling that fire start to mellow out is nothing to fear. Even decades into a relationship, if stability, dependability, and trust continue flourish, new levels of comfort and rest will come naturally.

You don’t fret over every text, you don’t over analyze every detail with your besties, because you know your partner is there and you know they love you. The sparks haven’t burnt out, they grew into a cozy campfire that’s burning strong.

Here’s what six people in long term relationships had to say about how they keep up the love.

1Treat every date like your first.

— Jack, 25*

2Be physically tender outside of sex.

—Jasmine, 24*

3Comfort Isn’t Carelessness

—Sage, 34

4Give Them Space

—Kyle, 26*

5Be excited about what they’re excited about.

—Vera, 28*

6Don’t wait to be asked to do something nice

—Katie, 30

The "honeymoon phase" isn’t about having more love to give, it’s about remembering to give your love time to live in it’s own world. It’s dedicating a space to focus on the person you love, and do things that make them feel happy and strong. As a relationship grows, suddenly your partner’s immense shoe collection or inability to throw away a tea bag (channelling Charlotte York) isn’t just a cute quirk, it’s a part of your daily life. When you make a life with someone, you make a life with their habits, their fears, their pet peeves, and their cleanliness — and you love them for it all the same.

*Names have been changed

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