I don't know why my ex's new relationship bothers me so much

DEAR DEIDRE: A WELL-known musician is dating my ex-girlfriend. He is much older than her – and now I feel she lied to me for 15 years.

I’m 40 and she’s 38. Her new man is in his early sixties.


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She’s a session singer and while we were together there was a rumour about her and another older musician, but she always denied it.

I accepted her word and because he was 30 years older I thought it was ridiculous. But now I think it might have been true.

I’ve always wanted a family, but she said she didn’t want children.

Our relationship had gone downhill in the last five years, with no intimacy or romance, until we agreed to split earlier this year.

I don’t know why her new relationship is bothering me. Maybe it’s an underlying regret I wasted so many years with her.

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Or maybe it’s because she’s clearly always wanted someone who isn’t me.

I’ve so much rage and sadness inside me and don’t know how to get over it.

DEIDRE SAYS: Fifteen years is a long time to be with somebody, and sometimes people change. You grew apart.

You have learned a lot from being with your ex and now understand what sort of relationship you want.

There’s still time for you to find someone else, settle down, and have a family.

At the moment, you are grieving for the relationship, but you will start to feel better. My support pack, Moving On, should help you.

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