I don't want to die without making amends with sister after 20-year row

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a simple misunderstanding my sister and I have had a 20-year falling out.

We are now getting old. I am 83 and she is 81 and I don’t want to die without reconciling.


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But every time I try to bury the hatchet she accuses me of being confrontational.

We were close but she cut me out after assuming I was being difficult when she asked me to look after Mum so she could go on holiday.

At the time Mum was living in her house. When my sister called I couldn’t talk but said I would call back to go through the details.

I called back two days later and said I was happy to help. I said I thought it would be good if I stayed in my sister’s home to look after Mum, so that she could stay in familiar surroundings and visit the day centre which she loved.

But my sister was very hostile. She’d already paid for carers to come in for the two weeks and told me she didn’t want me in her house.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It would be worth writing a letter to your sister explaining everything from your point of view.

Tell her how you miss your friendship and that you were always happy to look after your mum.

Before you send this letter it would be worth talking to standalone.org.uk, who support people estranged from their family.

Fingers crossed you can both put this behind you.

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