I hate myself and I get thoughts to hit someone so hard that it hurts

I’ll never act on it but I hate myself and don’t want to wake up each day. I’ve lived like this for 35 years.

I was beaten and abused by my drunken dad. Of five kids, he only hit me, the oldest son. As soon as I could, I was fighting and thieving so I’d get put away and be safe from him.

I eventually ended up in an approved school where I was bullied and sexually abused by other boys there.

I’m 63 and these thoughts still trouble me. Might hypnosis work? I’ve wanted to write to you for years.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am so sorry you have been hurting like this for so long – and I am so glad you have written to me now.

No wonder you have those thoughts about hurting others when you were so hurt yourself as a vulnerable child. It isn’t too late to get help to move on from what you’ve been through.

Start by getting in touch with NAPAC, the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (napac.org.uk, 0808 801 0331).

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