I haven't spoken to my son since he failed his university degree last year

And I’ve made it clear to my wife that I won’t be speaking to him until he finds work.

I’m 48 and so angry with him after all the money we’ve spent.

The least he could do was work as hard as he possibly could so we could be proud of our son.

We’re planning a trip to New York in the autumn to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary.

We’re taking our younger son as he works hard at school, but I’ve told my wife the oldest can’t come.

She’s upset about this as she says it’s her anniversary too and wants the whole family there.

What do you think? Am I right? I’ve said he can come if he’s working by then.

He’s 21 and I don’t call pouring drinks in a bar and flirting with customers work.

DEIDRE SAYS: A job behind a bar can be very hard work – I know as I did it as a student myself.

Your son is only 21. You’re his father and he needs your support and guidance at this time in his life.

He’s had a shock – maybe much needed but this needn’t be life-defining.

Suggest that he talks to his uni about where he fell short and asks to do a re-take. Take him to New York and talk to him about positive plans for the future

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