I keep having nightmares about what my rapist did to me over 20 years ago

I am 38 now but was 17 when this happened. He was 29 and I liked him. He asked me out and my mum said, “Life is short, so enjoy it.”

We went for a drink and then a walk. He knew I was a virgin but he kept trying to touch me.

I told him to stop and he said he needed to collect something from his flat, then we would go for a burger.

We got inside and he immediately locked the door and turned the light off. Next thing, he ripped my jeans off.

I kept telling him to stop but he had sex with me. It hurt me so much and I bled very badly. He said he had done nothing wrong and that it was my fault because of how sexy I was. I feel guilty but I cannot forget it.

DEIDRE SAYS: This was rape and of course you cannot forget it. He took advantage and had sex with you when you repeatedly told him to stop. Then he tried to blame you.

You have no need to feel guilty but deserve to get support and understanding to deal with it. Rape Crisis can help you (rapecrisis.org.uk, 0808 802 9999).

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