I'm jealous of husband showing so much attention to his ex-wife while she battles cancer
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM jealous of my husband showing so much attention to his ex-wife – even if she is dying from cancer.
I am 42, he is 49 and we’ve been together for six years.
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He was with his ex-wife, who is 48, for 11 years until they split up seven years ago.
They have two sons, aged ten and 12.
She was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last year.
Since then my husband hasn’t stopped fussing over her.
He takes her to hospital appointments and posh restaurants while I stay at home looking after their children.
I take them to school and make their packed lunches.
I even went to their parents’ evening on my own because they were too busy enjoying themselves.
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This isn’t what I’ve signed up for.
It’s terrible that she’s dying of cancer but I need support too. I feel I’m losing him to her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’re doing so well in supporting everyone but you can’t keep doing this on your own.
Although it’s a delicate conversation to have, speak to your husband.
Let him know you are finding it hard to manage.
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Explain you aren’t comfortable with him spending so much time with his ex, but that you understand he needs to support her and the kids.
Discuss what support would be helpful and also acceptable to you, him, his ex and the children.
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