I’m so confused that I keep cheating on my girlfriend with men | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M so confused about my identity that I keep cheating on my female partner with men.

Even though I love her and have been with her for 14 years, I like having sex with men, too.

I’m 34 and she’s 32. She’s a lovely woman, and I don’t deserve her.

My mental health has always been fragile and life is a daily struggle.

She’s been so supportive, taking everything I’ve thrown at her.

I know it’s wrong that I repay her kindness by secretly picking up men and engaging in sex acts with them.

Usually, it happens when I’ve had far too much to drink.

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But I’ve always known I’ve liked other men. I just never acted on it when I was single – or sober.

My life is such a mess, but I don’t know how to change.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Alcohol allows you to express your true feelings.

But you are drinking too much and making yourself more unhappy and confused.

Please get help. My support pack, Drink Problem, explains how.

You say you love your girlfriend, but you are cheating and putting her health at risk.

You need to talk to someone about your identity.


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You may be gay or bisexual. What matters is that you accept yourself.

Contact Switchboard LGBT+ (switchboard.lgbt, 0300 330 0630).

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