I've been having great sex with a lovely escort but now she's sleeping with my wife

DEAR DEIDRE:  I’VE been having great sex with a lovely woman who works as an escort but it feels different now – as she is sleeping with my wife.

We’ve been married just over a year and have a six-month-old son. I am 53, my wife is 26 and we are very happy together.


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My wife was in and out of care until she was 16 as her parents had drink and drug problems.

She says this is the first “real” family life she’s ever known and I love her and our son to bits.

We’ve always had an active and varied sex life but she had a very difficult pregnancy and couldn’t have sex at all.

She told me to seek services elsewhere, that I needn’t suffer, so I did that with her blessing.

I found this lovely escort who was great sexually and also very sympathetic and understanding.

I had several appointments and we got to know one another.

When my wife had the baby I thought that would be the end of the arrangement but she was keen to come and see my son — and to meet my wife.

They are about the same age and got on really well. I felt like a spare part and left them to it.

This woman started calling round to chat with my wife — I think both of them had found someone they could relate to.

I knew my wife had had sex with other women before we met and after a while she asked me if it would be OK for her and the escort to get together.

I could hardly say no when she was so understanding about my needs. So now the escort calls round lots and we sometimes all have meals together.

She and my wife have regular sex and my wife says we’ll have a threesome soon.

Sex with my wife has actually improved but I’m not sure how I feel about all this or what to do.

Do I continue to see the escort in her professional capacity, or see her as just a friend and maybe find a new escort for myself?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife had a troubled childhood and grew up unable to rely on anyone to love and cherish her.

She didn’t dare rely on you to stay faithful to her while she was expecting your son. Can you understand how sad that is?

And this could get very messy.

What happens if one of you picks up a sexual infection, never mind transmits coronavirus, or suppose this escort is interested in getting pregnant herself?

What I’d like is for both of you to stop seeing this escort – or any escort for sex – and to start treating sex as something precious between the two of you, as the physical expression of your love and commitment to one another.

You will be amazed then how extra-special the sex can be.

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