My daughter is desperate for me to spend Christmas with my abusive ex-husband

DEAR DEIDRE:  MY daughter is desperate for me to go “home” for Christmas but my ex-husband will be there and he makes my life a misery.

I have a daughter and two sons, grown up now, who don’t know the half of it.

I left my husband because he was abusive towards me. It broke my heart to leave them.

He claims still to love me yet when I left, he emptied our joint bank account so I couldn’t rent anywhere.

And he lied to my parents – saying I’d cheated on him, which I never did.

I’ve now met somebody who is my knight in shining armour. He’s 58 and treats me like a princess. I’m 52.

I know it’s tough on my kids but I want to see them separately from my ex, who manipulates everything to get his own way.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your children are adults now and I think you should explain simply how their father was abusive towards you and you are not willing to play a phoney game of happy families with him there.

He might deny it if they ask for his side, but stay calm and firm.

My e-leaflet on Standing Up For Yourself can help.

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