My husband has had a sex buddy behind my back for years and I'm so angry about it

I found out when he left his laptop on and I saw her photo. She’s not even his type. He says they only got together once or twice a month – if that makes it better.

We are both 41 and have been married for five years. He met her before our wedding.

They went to sex clubs and it was like being with an unpaid prostitute, he said. There was no relationship, just sex and go.

He is now very upset and is begging me to forgive him and start afresh. My heart says give it a go, my head says get rid.

Weird sex doesn’t bother me as much as the lies and deceit. I feel like the whole of our marriage has been a fake.

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder. Men tend to compartmentalise their feelings and actions far more than women, so he may not have seen all this as having any bearing on his feelings for you.

You can’t just pretend it doesn’t matter, though.

My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? can help but he’ll have to be willing to make an effort.


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