My wife has gone off sex so I'm thinking of having a one-night stand

DEAR DEIDRE: DISCOVERING that my wife and I have fertility issues has sounded the death knell on our sex life. I’m thinking of finding a woman for a one-night stand.

I’m 37 and my wife is 34. We have been married for four years.


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Before we wed, sex was frequent and brilliant, then it fell to once a month.

We were both busy working full-time and had interests outside of our jobs too.

I love my wife so I accepted less sex than I would choose.

She then said she would like to start a family so sex increased to once a week – but she didn’t get pregnant.

Our doctor ran tests and found we both had fertility problems.

Since then, my wife won’t come near me.

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I don’t know what I’ve done but I know I miss the sex and I’m obsessed with thinking about it.

Should I try to meet somebody who could scratch the itch?

DEIDRE SAYS: No. That would put your whole marriage in jeopardy and run away from the relationship issue, complicating things further.

Your wife is likely to feel devastated about the doctor’s news and is struggling to reconnect with you. Reassure her you won’t give up that easily.

Keep having sex and you may be surprised with a pregnancy, but also try the Genesis Research Trust, genesisresearchtrust.com, and Professor Robert Winston, who has set up a free online fertility advice service genesisresearchtrust.com/askrobert.

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