My wife won't let me show her any affection and her sex drive is completely dead

We both work full-time and have busy lives. We have been married for 12 years and have a nine-year-old son. I am 34, my wife is 33.

We used to have a great sex life but it has now dwindled to nothing.

I have asked her if she misses sex but she says not.

She says she can understand how I feel and she would like to get her sex drive back but she can’t just switch it on again.

DEIDRE SAYS: When sex drive has disappeared, it is hard to imagine ever wanting sex again.

Rather than pressing for intercourse, giving each other a massage –  without expecting sex afterwards – can get you back into the habit of intimacy.

My e-leaflet on Sex-play Sex Therapy can guide you through helping your wife rediscover the joy of sex.

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