My wife's new job is making me feel on edge – Should I be worried? | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has landed the job of her dreams with a top advertising agency.
I am very proud of all she has achieved but her success makes me feel insecure.
I am 43 and my wife is 41.
We have been together for eight years and have a six-year-old daughter.
My wife is very much a focused career woman. She’s had an amazing career so far, but I am becoming anxious and a little bit jealous too.
She keeps buying new clothes and shoes and she is putting more effort into her looks.
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She’s even started going to a gym three times a week.
All of this kills me inside. I keep thinking about stupid scenarios and asking myself, “What if?”.
I get told that I am good looking, but I know the grass often seems greener.
My wife is surrounded by better-than-averaging-looking men.
She hasn’t done anything to make me suspicious.
I don’t want to stand in the way of her dreams, but should I tell her that her work is a deal-breaker for me or just wait and see what happens?
DEIDRE SAYS: I think keeping her in the dark about my feelings is wrong and it’s my responsibility to tell her.
Being worried and unhappy might drive her away.
You’re right about driving her away. You know it’s not your wife’s behaviour so look at why you feel so insecure – were you let down or cheated on by someone you loved in the past?
If so, it’s not easy when you have had previous unhappy experiences, but you can change your mindset.
Put your faith in your wife and instead of fearing the worst, ask her for a loving, reassuring hug.
My support pack Dealing With Jealousy will help.
Remind yourself that you are the one she is with and the one she loves, and that you are the one she comes home to.
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