The Best Valentine's Day Gift for Your SO Based on Their Love Language
A decade ago, Dr. Gary Chapman released his now-seminal relationship book, The Five Love Languages. And ever since, couples have looked to the emotion-defining tome to figure out how to better communicate with their significant others. There’s a fringe benefit to this knowledge too — Valentine’s Day is upon us, and pinpointing your significant other’s love language (or love languages) will help you nail gift-giving on this romantic holiday.
So, what are the five love languages? Here’s a quick rundown.
If you want to know more, you can also check out our interview with the man himself, Dr. Gary Chapman, and psychotherapist Dr. Tina B. Tessina.
After you’ve matched your partner to their love language, go forth into the world to find the gift that will pull on their heartstrings. Since you’re new to this, we’ve made it even easier by picking five fantastic gifts for each of the five love languages.
Words of Affirmation: Flattery Mug Set
They dig it when you tell them how much you dig them, so why not start with their best feature? Bonus: These come in a set, so you get a daily dose of flattery too.
Flattering mug set, $19.95 at Amazon
Words of Affirmation: Love Stones
Sometimes your S.O. just needs a reminder of all the reasons you love them, which is why these stones are perfect. They can stash the bag in their glove compartment (or anywhere close by) so they can reach in to pull out a reminder any time they needs a boost.
Love stones, $39 at Personal Creations
Words of Affirmation: You Think You Know Me Game
Listening actively is super-important to your S.O., and this fun card game ensures you’re fully focused on them. And, hey, you may even learn a few new facts about each other thanks to these inquisitive cards.
You Think You Know Me game, $30 at UncommonGoods
Words of Affirmation: Personalized Golf Balls
They’ll feel like the luckiest person on the planet when you not only encourage one of their passions (golf, naturally), but you also send them to the course with a few words of appreciation — ones they’ll see every time they tee off.
Personalized golf balls (set of six), $19.99 at Gifts.com
Words of Affirmation: Secret Message Tie
You can’t always physically be with your S.O. when they need reassurance or affirmation, but thanks to this tie’s hidden pocket and heart-shaped notes, you can always be there in spirit.
Hidden message tie, $50 at Personal Creations
Physical Touch: ‘Love Is Art’ Kit
Significant others with this love language use the body and touch to emphasize affection. So, really, what better gift could you give than an art kit that requires you two to spend some quality time in the bedroom with a bunch of nontoxic paint and a blank canvas? In the end, you’ll have actual proof your love is a masterpiece.
Custom “Love Is Art” kit, $70 at UncommonGoods
Physical Touch: ‘Position Sex Bible’
Let your body do the talking by introducing your lover to this handy guide packed full of pleasure-igniting positions. With tantalizingly tangled moves like The Jigsaw and Cupid’s Bow, you’ll be totally in tune with each other.
Position Sex Bible book, $17.99 at Spencer’s
Physical Touch: Sex Stack Game
Your S.O. appreciates it when you make intimacy a thoughtful priority, and Sex Stack makes doing so an adventure. Just think of it as Jenga with benefits — if you pull a block, you have to complete whatever intimate act the block’s number matches on the corresponding cards.
Sex Stack game, $29.95 at Amazon
Physical Touch: Cold Massage Roller
Since touch emphasizes emotion for your S.O., giving them a full-body rubdown is basically like writing a big ol’ love letter. If you really want to dot your I’s and cross your T’s, break out a heating massage oil and a few candles to amp up the ambiance.
Cold massage roller, $39.95 at The Grommet
Physical Touch: Back Scratcher Set
Anyone who craves physical contact will go gaga over this wooden backscratcher set — especially if you volunteer to help them reach all the out-of-the-way spots. Sure, these make them more self-sufficient, but they’re gonna need you when they have an itch they really need to scratch. *Wink, wink*
Back scratcher set, $9.99 at Amazon
Receiving Gifts: Tool Kit for Conversations
It means the most to your S.O. when you choose thoughtful gifts, and you can’t get much more thoughtful than a stack of cards that encourages them to create meaningful dialogue with people (including you!).
100 original questions card set, $30 at Neo-utility
Receiving Gifts: Dartboard Golf Game
Let’s be real. Being a grown-up means we don’t get to indulge in our favorite pastimes as much. So show them you still care about their passion for hitting the links by giving them a way to do that from the comfort of home. Or, you know, the office when the boss isn’t looking.
Golf game dartboard, $120 at UncommonGoods
Receiving Gifts: Wood-Burning Kit
Small things matter to your S.O., and stealing away a few moments every now and then falls under that umbrella. Give them a new craft to pursue during their downtime by gifting them with this easy-to-use wood-burning kit. And hey, you might even wind up with a few fun by-products of the wood-burning pen! Customized cutting board, anyone?
Wood-burning kit, $18 at Terrain
Receiving Gifts: 15-Minute Timer
Even partners who prioritize time together and living with intent need the occasional reminder to stop and smell the roses — and they’ll adore you for being the one to remind them. One clever way to do just that is to give them this colorful sand timer that forces your loved one to carve out 15 minutes for what truly counts.
Glass sand timer, $30 at Neo-utility
Receiving Gifts: Solar Hand-Crank Radio
Listen, there are few better ways to express your love for someone than by letting them know you don’t want them to be stranded in the wilderness alone with no way to tell what’s happening in the world. Such is the beauty of this solar hand-crank radio, which is, let’s be real, super-cute to boot.
Solar hand-crank radio, $29.99 at West Elm
Quality Time: Q&A Journal for 2
Because your S.O.’s love language is quality time, they’re really big on uninterrupted conversations between the two of you. So, can you imagine the look on their face when you give them a book that pledges to carve out time for a couple’s Q&A every day… for three whole years?!
Our Q&A a Day book, $12.29 at Amazon
Quality Time: Wine Cork Map
More than anything, special moments with you make your S.O. feel loved (aw!). This cute state map will foster plenty of one-on-one time. Or should we say wine-on-wine? Every time you pop the top on a bottle of vino together, just add it to this custom keepsake.
Wine cork state map, $35 at UncommonGoods
Quality Time: ‘Ultimate Journeys for Two’ Book
Weekend getaways are a huge deal for partners with this love language, which — hooray! — means you have an excuse to travel. National Geographic’s Ultimate Journeys for Two tome will give you tons of inspo for your next vacay together.
Ultimate Journeys for Two book, $26.99 at National Geographic
Quality Time: Yard Dice
Your quality time doesn’t have to be grand and extravagant for it to make your S.O. swoon. Little, everyday moments can make just as many cherished memories — and laughing in the backyard while you battle it out over yard dice is the perfect example.
Yard dice, $49.95 at The Grommet
Quality Time: ‘100 Places’ Bucket List Poster
Not only will this “100 Places” bucket list poster inspire you and your lover to get out of town more often, it also serves as a fantastic piece of wall art. A chic reminder of all the amazing destinations you’ve been to together? It, like your S.O., is a keeper.
“100 Places” poster, $9.99 at West Elm
Acts of Service: WowBacon Cooker
Flowers, schmowers — your S.O.’s love language is action-oriented, so a cluster of blooms might not have the desired impact. You know what will? Quickly cooking them a fresh batch of sizzling bacon in this express cooker. But, hey, if you want to play up the romance, you could always fashion the strips into a bacon bouquet and watch their love for you blossom in record time.
WowBacon cooker, $19.95 at Amazon
Acts of Service: ‘Bring Me Beer’ Socks
When it comes to “acts of service” that underscore the way you feel about them, you can’t get much more clear than these cheeky message socks. B-E-E-R is another way to spell love, right?
Beer socks, $14 at UncommonGoods
Acts of Service: Personalized Desktop Decision Spinner
One glance at this personalized desktop decision spinner during their workday will serve as a welcome reminder you want to lessen your S.O.’s stress however you can. Plus, it’s like a Magic 8-Ball for adults, so you know they’re gonna have fun with it.
Personalized desktop decision spinner, $29.99 at Personal Creations
Acts of Service: The Automotive Alexa
Although a partner with acts of service as their love language gets tingly every time they hear you say, “I’ll help,” you’re not always by their side (as much as you would like to be). But the next best thing is bestowing the Automotive Alexa on them. This car charger’s Alexa-enabled capabilities allow your S.O. to ask directions, order food or submit any other query — all while remaining safely hands-free.
The Automotive Alexa, $99.95 at Hammacher Schlemmer
Acts of Service: Shaving Cream Can Brush Adapter
Let your S.O. know you want to make sure their morning starts off on a positive note by gifting them this ingenious shaving cream can brush adapter. Ideal for men and women, it makes the chore of shaving far less like a chore. It might even shave a few minutes (sorry, we had to) off their hectic morning routine, and they’ll definitely appreciate that.
Shaving cream can brush adapter, $19.95 at Amazon
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